butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
