You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
