...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
