Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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