She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
