That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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