i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
