I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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