I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
sex in a hospital.. check
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
