Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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