i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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