I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
And then he peed in my hair
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