Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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