I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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