That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
