After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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