sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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