My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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