my vag is so smooth its legendary
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
