I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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