Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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