remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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