If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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