And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
