Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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