I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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