Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
