she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Green mimosas i think yes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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