scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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