Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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