On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had to cum in my sink.
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