Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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