shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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