K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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