Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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