I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
