their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
