i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
