how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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