Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
