you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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