omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize