yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Small penises have feelings too.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
