guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
