Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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