She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
