90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
