he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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