I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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