Can i not drive my cunt home
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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