I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
