I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
