And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
