her vagine was all disorganized.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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