Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This house was built for laser tag.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
