I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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