Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
