i permit you to call me
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
